


Beaten in Lips

by xXdark_passengerXx



Series: Picture Perfect Family. [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, child abuse :(, obsessive shizuo, psyches pov, shizuo needs help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXdark_passengerXx/pseuds/xXdark_passengerXx
Summary: ❝as if life isn't hard already, add it to the list of things to forget;with one chance to define ourselves, we're gonna keep on living, keep on living❞-"Can Dad be here?" Psyche asked, looking away from his father."Say that again," his Papa's voice was low but haunting as he sat up properly, "I don't think I heard you right."He glanced at Delic, who subtly shook his head as if trying to tell him to shut up."Why can't Dad be here?" he asked again, his voice smaller than before as he averted his eyes to his lap.He heard some wood snap and his eyes shot up, only to see Shizuo's fist snapping the table into two pieces.Don't be afraid, he repeated. He's your father.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Series: Picture Perfect Family. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884835
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	Beaten in Lips

**Author's Note:**

> tw: child abuse
> 
> also: papa is shizuo and izaya is dad

  
Psyche ran to his dad, a smile wide on his face. He ignored Izaya's outstretched arm, choosing to run _into_ his arms instead. He could tell Izaya was taken back by the sudden hug, but he only laughed, returning the embrace.

Psyche didn't get to see his dad outside very often, so it was nice every time he did. He didn't really understand too well why Izaya had to stay inside, but he understood that he wasn't supposed to tell his Papa anything.

"Don't tell Papa I came to pick you up today, okay?" Izaya would say, giving a reassuring smile when Psyche seemed confused. "If he asks, the neighbour brought you home."

He didn't know why his Papa would ask if his Dad left the house, but his Papa did. He asked a lot, actually. Almost every day, as if he didn't trust Dad.

"Psyche," Izaya took his arms away, standing upright as he, once again, held out his hand. "Come on, we have to get home before Papa does."

Psyche took his dad's hand without question, despite how confused he always was to hear something like that.

—

"Hey," he called out to his friend, his voice a hushed whisper. His friend looked to him in question. Psyche felt a pit in his stomach as he asked, "Are both of your parents allowed to go outside?"

His friend looked confused but eventually, slowly nodded his head. "Of course! My dad lets my mum go anywhere. Why, does your dad say no whenever your mum asks?"

Psyche frowned and he felt confused all over again. Everyone just assumed he had a mum. It was strange enough Dad went outside in secret, but was it really so abnormal to not have a mum?

"You know," his friend continued, not seeming to notice Psyche's inner turmoil. "I've seen movies where the man in the relationship is really... possessive. He controls everything! My mum says to never be like that when I become a man. She says it's not healthy."

"Possessive?" Psyche repeated, thinking back to the way his Papa acted. Was that how he'd describe Papa? What did his friend mean by 'not healthy.' He was pretty sure his parents were in perfect health.

"Yeah, movies also showed the man hitting the woman," his friend explained, giving a small shrug. "I've only seen it once in a movie, actually. My mum never let me watch another one after that."

Papa never hit Dad, he was sure of that, so their relationship wasn't unhealthy. It didn't meet the criteria. His family was fine, he thought. Still, he wondered if his Dad being caged at home was normal. From the looks of it, it didn't seem that way.

—

Psyche bounced on the cushion underneath him as he continued to ramble on about his day to Izaya, who turned the TV on as he left for the kitchen. Of course, Psyche never told Izaya about the questions he asked his classmates, he just knew Izaya would ask him to stop, but then he wouldn't be getting any answers.

Something bothered him though. He felt his smile fall as he recalled the conversation with his friend. He decided to try something out.

"Mum?" he called out, loud enough for his Dad to hear. Izaya hummed, as if he didn't hear what Psyche had said. Psyche was glad, he began doubting his plan.

But then his Dad strolled in, asking him to repeat what he'd said. Looking at the TV, he tried to carry on, as if calling his Dad 'Mum' was normal.

"I asked if the snacks were almost ready, Mum." His voice was quiet. He began to feel nervous as Izaya sat down beside him, still not uttering a word.

"Psyche," Dad finally spoke. "Why'd you call me Mum?"

"I'm sorry!" Psyche cried out. "I didn't mean to."

"No, I think you did." His dad's voice wasn't condescending, wasn't angry or anything of that sort, he sounded curious.

Psyche decided to ask before he could change his mind. "Why don't Delic and I have a mum?"

Looking at Izaya, he found him calm just as he always was. Psyche admired that about him; he never let anything bring him down. Psyche hoped to be like him one day.

"Do you think if I were a woman, I'd love you more?" Izaya questioned, but Psyche didn't answer. "Do you think I'd be able to take better care of you?"

"No," he finally admitted. Izaya already took care of him so much, what more was there? Why would him being a Mum change anything?

"A mum is a parent, right? And a dad is a parent?" Psyche nodded his head. "So, that means that the kids who have a mum and a dad have two parents. You have two dads, that means two parents, right? What's the difference?"

He felt Dad scoot closer to him, an arm over his shoulders as he pulled him to his chest. Psyche felt doubt in him all over again. He wanted to ask why Papa didn't let Dad outside, why he seemed so possessive. Psyche didn't, knowing he'd only get the same response he always did.

" _It's just the way things are."_

_—_

He heard the bedroom door open. He squinted his eyes at the bright light coming from the hallway, glancing at his brother to see him already sitting in his bed, a yawn behind his hand.

"Sorry," he heard Dad apologize, his voice sincere. He closed the door behind him, walking over to Delic's bed and laying him back down. "Just go back to bed."

Delic was asleep in seconds and Izaya silently laughed as he pulled the blankets up to Delic's chin. He then walked over to Psyche's bed, crouching beside it with a smile.

Psyche didn't let his Dad ask what he was about to do, choosing to scoot over instead as he gave his Dad space to lay beside him. Dad got in, tucking Psyche into the blankets just as he'd done with Delic.

"Sorry to bother you," Dad apologized again.

Psyche shook his head, throwing an arm over Izaya. "It's okay. Did you have another nightmare again?"

Izaya nodded, taking Psyche's hand in his. "Yes, I did. Your Papa's snores scare me. Remember, if he asks, you were having a nightmare, okay? It's embarrassing for someone my age to be afraid of something so silly."

Psyche laughed, squeezing his Dad's hand. "Papa wouldn't care. He doesn't even laugh at you when you run from dogs!"

Izaya smiled, but Psyche figured it looked more sad than anything. "You might be right, but I don't want to take any chances, okay? I really am afraid."

Psyche didn't say anything else after that, not when the fear in his Dad's voice was so genuine. It was scary to think Izaya of all people were afraid. His dad was the bravest person he knew.

While Psyche doubted Izaya was afraid of a nightmare, he knew he was afraid of something. He just wished he knew of what.

—

Izaya was back in the kitchen, leaving Psyche alone in the living room. Psyche watched TV mindlessly, not too focused on what was on. There was something different about his family, he thought, but maybe it wasn't different in a bad way.

He heard the door open and immediately brightened up, knowing Papa and Delic were home. All previous thoughts evaded his mind as he ran into Shizuo's arms, feeling himself be lifted into the air. He giggled as he was placed back down.

"How was your day, Psyche?" Shizuo asked as he took off his shoes.

"It was good!" he answered before explaining all he'd done that day. He, of course, omitted the part where Izaya picked him up from school.

Just as he finished talking, he saw his Dad join them. When his parents kissed, Delic and he stuck their tongues out. Shizuo laughed at their reactions before ruffling both of their hair as Izaya bent down to give Delic a hug.

Psyche watched Shizuo leave for the kitchen, and just as Papa was out of sight, he heard Izaya ask Delic the usual questions.

"Did he say anything? Did he do anything?"

Delic shook his head and Dad sighed, walking away and into the kitchen. When Psyche was left alone with his brother, he got close and whispered, "Papa picked you up?"

Delic nodded, taking Psyche's hand as they walked over to the TV and settled on the couch. "Yeah, he asked if Dad left the house." Delic paused before looking at Psyche with a more serious expression. "You know we're supposed to say no, right? We're not supposed to tell Papa where Dad's gone."

"I know," Psyche reassured with a smile, his eyes on the screen. Still, at the back of his mind, he knew Delic understood more than him. Delic was a couple years older than him, but it still felt like he knew a thousand things more than Psyche.

They dropped the topic and chose to watch TV, making comments every now and then. At one point, Izaya even came to give them bowls of fruits. Said bowls were now empty, and Psyche offered to go get some more.

When he walked into the kitchen, he froze. Papa's arms were holding Dad close to him, and they were kissing again. There was something about the atmosphere that kept Psyche from playfully gagging at the scene.

He couldn't say anything. He couldn't do anything. His limbs wouldn't move. Papa told him that he shouldn't ever interrupt his moments with Dad.

He was about to will himself to walk away when Izaya's eyes landed on his and his hands fell to Shizuo's chest, pushing him away. Shizuo glared at Psyche, who felt all his thoughts leave him.

"Delic wants more strawberries," he rushed out before he could stop himself, his eyes solely on Izaya. He couldn't handle looking into his Papa's eyes.

"Dad's busy right now."

"But—"

"I said he's busy!"

When Papa yelled at him, Psyche ran away, back to the living room. He dropped the bowls onto the coffee table and sat beside Delic, snuggling to his side to gain some kind of comfort.

"Psyche?" Delic called out. "Are you okay?"

"Do you think Peep and Chirp are right?" Psyche asked, ignoring Delic's question as he nodded to the TV. "Do you think Quack's purple or blue?"

He heard Delic sigh but he dropped the conversation.

—

It was a good day, for once. Psyche wasn't too sure why exactly it was different than the other days, but the absence of something was calming, like he didn't have to watch his every move or fear everything he did would get him into trouble.

He was watching TV with Delic, both of the brothers snuggled on either side of Izaya. It was raining hard outside, but Psyche didn't really notice. As much as he loved playing outside, he'd much rather enjoy this peaceful moment. But moments like these only last for so long.

"Psyche, Delic," Izaya called out to them, and suddenly, they weren't watching TV anymore, they weren't having a normal family experience. The absent feeling Psyche had noticed missing was back. He felt his fists tighten but made sure to keep them out of his Dad's sights. He looked stressed enough, if his eyes were anything to go by.

"You can't tell Papa you talked to me."

Delic nodded and Psyche did the same moments later. Why _,_ he wanted to ask. What was so wrong about two kids enjoying time with their parent?

Psyche kept his mouth shut. The only thing he did was watch his Dad's eyes widen at the sound of keys before running into the master bedroom. Psyche wanted to run after him, but Delic had smiled and run up to their Papa, so he, as always, followed right after.

"Papa!" they cheered. Shizuo smiled down at them before picking Psyche up by his armpits, holding him over his head. Psyche giggled as he was let down, still feeling his head spin from the sudden change in altitude. He loved his Papa. He heard many of the kids at school didn't have a father, and that saddened him. He was lucky enough to have Shizuo.

 _A mum is a parent, a father is a parent,_ his Dad's words repeated in his head. He was about to make something of it, but Shizuo called to them from the kitchen. Delic and he ran into the other room, waiting for their father to give them instructions.

Psyche loved his Papa, he was lucky to have him, so why was he imagining life without him?

—

It was Papa's day off, which meant they weren't going to be able to see Dad at all. Papa's days off weren't so bad, Psyche just wished all four of them could spend it together.

"I win!" Delic cheered as he placed the token into the Connect 4 box. Psyche was half-watching, focusing more on his thoughts. There were a couple questions he'd wanted to ask Papa, but whenever he brought them up to Izaya, the latter would tell him to stay quiet. Psyche listened in fear of making something bad happen, but as every day passed, Psyche grew more and more tired, the question _why_ screaming in his head. Something didn't make sense, but Delic always told him to just ignore his curiosity, that they all could be happier in ignorance. Psyche felt like Delic didn't fully understand, maybe that was the point. Psyche didn't know.

"Can Dad be here?" he asked Shizuo, his voice unwavering. Shizuo was his father, he shouldn't fear him— he wasn't going to fear him. Normal families didn't fear their Papa.

However, the look Shizuo gave him was terrifying, like it always was whenever he asked something like this.

"Say that again," his Papa's voice was low but haunting as he sat up properly, no longer lying on his stomach, "I don't think I heard you right."

He glanced at Delic, who subtly shook his head as if trying to tell him to shut up. He wished he could, he wished he could just pretend that everything was normal, but he couldn't. One day, he was really going to scream.

"Why can't Dad be here?" he asked again, his voice smaller than before as he averted his eyes to his lap. Shizuo was his Papa, he told himself, Don't be afraid of him.

He heard some wood snap and his eyes shot up, only to see Shizuo's fist snapping the table into two pieces.

Don't be afraid, he repeated.

"You think you can see him whenever you want?" Papa's voice was different, he wasn't the loving father he was just moments ago. "What makes you think you deserve that?"

Psyche was confused. Shizuo could've said this a million times— he did— and Psyche still wouldn't understand what he meant by 'deserved.'

"I— I just—"

"Look at Delic," his father pointed to his brother, who looked indifferent to the situation. Psyche knew that was just his way of pretending that nothing abnormal was happening. "He doesn't ask stupid questions. He actually enjoys his time with me and knows his place in this family."

Psyche felt tears in his eyes, and his father stood up to grab at his collar, lifting him into the air, Psyche noticed the difference.

His father had lifted him in the air just days before and he felt like he was flying, but now, he felt like he was being pushed underwater.

As he stared into his father's eyes, silently begging him to let go, Psyche no longer wondered _why_. The only words going through his head were _Don't be afraid of him. He's your father._

Shizuo eventually calmed down enough to let go of his collar, dropping him into the floor. It was a hard landing for Psyche, especially since his father stood at six feet. He laid where he was dropped, listening to his father's footsteps get quieter as he walked away.

"You idiot," Delic whispered, running up to his brother and crouching by him. Psyche felt his head being lifted and placed into Delic's lap. "How many times does this have to happen for you to just shut up?"

There were only a few times Psyche had ever heard his brother's voice so broken, and it was because of him. He heard some loud voices from the other room, both of his parents' voices mingling with one another as they shouted. He made his Dad's life harder too.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling the tears fall. Delic instantly sat him up and hugged him.

"Don't apologize. You have to understand that there's nothing we can do. The only thing we can do is stay quiet and just go along with it. Nobody gets hurt that way, okay?" Delic explained and Psyche nodded. "Don't show Papa how much you're scared of him. It only gets him more riled up when he realizes how much power he has over you."

"I'm not scared of him," Psyche instantly said, not even realizing what he said until the words were already tumbling out of his mouth. "He's our father."

"Not everyone's a good parent, Psyche, he's too self-absorbed."

Psyche wanted to ask what that meant. This was the first time he had ever heard Psyche speak ill of their Papa. Psyche was tired of not understanding, but he thought back to the last five minutes. He didn't think he'd be asking any questions for a while.

"He loves us," Delic reassured, as if reading his thoughts. "He's just possessive of Dad. That's where things start going wrong."

There was that word again— possessive. First the kid at school, and now Delic.

Psyche wanted to connect the dots, wanted to put two and two together, but he was afraid. He didn't know if he wanted to find out what this all meant. He just laid his head on Delic's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Their family was fine.

—

They all sat at the dinner table together. Psyche didn't want to eat his food, and for a couple of moments, he just poked at it. He wanted to protest, wanted to ask if he could eat anything else, but the worried and stern look on Izaya's face kept him quiet. He didn't think anyone would've wanted a repeat of last time.

So, he sat quietly as he listened to Delic go on about his day, saying a few things here and there that made Shizuo laugh. Looking down at his food, he wondered if he could try again— if he could try telling Papa he wasn't hungry. After all, this time, he was in a good mood. Now that Psyche thought about it, Shizuo had been a good mood for a few weeks now. That probably meant that they were finally a normal family— that meant if he didn't want to eat his food, Shizuo wouldn't threaten him.

With a newfound courage, he opened his mouth to speak, turning towards his Papa. Just as he was about to tell him he didn't want to eat the food, he felt a light kick on his ankle. He turned towards Izaya, who shook his head subtly. Psyche wondered why for a brief moment before he realized that maybe the past few weeks were just a fluke, his Papa was in a good mood just out of luck. He didn't want to think that, but with the way his Dad silently begged him with his eyes, he thought it would be better safe than sorry.

"Psyche?" he heard his Papa's voice call to him. Nervously, Psyche turned towards him. "You don't look like you're enjoying your food. Do you not want to eat?"

No, he almost screamed out, but there was something in Shizuo's eyes, as if he had been waiting for something to happen. Psyche wasn't too sure what it meant, but when he felt another kick to his ankle, one that was a little harsher, he knew he couldn't give Shizuo what he wanted.

"I do, I just have a small tummy," he giggled out, hoping it sounded normal to everyone around him. "We can't all eat our food in one bite."

Shizuo laughed, to Psyche's amazement. He didn't think he had ever made his Papa smile— he only ever yelled at him Delic was the favourite, he knew that, so it was strange to see him happy with Psyche for once.

Shizuo ruffled Psyche's hair, which made the latter genuinely happy. He slapped away his Papa's hands, little laughs falling from his lips. He made the mistake of looking up into Shizuo's eyes. His smile nearly fell at the sight of a bit of a glare. While Psyche was taken back, he noticed Shizuo's eyes flicker to Izaya, and when Psyche glanced at his Dad, he found him smiling as he looked down at his food.

So nothing had changed, he finally admitted to himself, smiling up at Shizuo one last time before finally beginning to eat. Shizuo really was looking for any reason to get mad at Psyche, to tell him he couldn't see Izaya for the next few months.

Psyche kept up his smile, refusing to cower under his Papa's silent glare. He just had to learn to keep quiet, and they would continue to be happy. It didn't matter if Shizuo wanted to get angry at them— as long as Psyche gave him no reason, as long as he made no mistake, then Shizuo wouldn't able to do anything.

Psyche asked Izaya for seconds, just to make sure Shizuo wouldn't find any way to lash out.

**Author's Note:**

> this is not normal. if you or someone need help, it is difficult but there are people who want to help. if youre unsure of what exactly defines child abuse, use this link - https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/fv-vf/ca-me.html - to learn. the website has some resources, and it has a quick escape button, which makes you leave the website right away. 
> 
> https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html doesnt have a quick escape button, but its a list of resources you can use even if you just want to speak with someone. i think this website is for those in canada, but im sure there are many websites and phone numbers in your area
> 
> with covid especially, i cant even imagine what some people are going through. stay safe <3


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